dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I forget how to act sober
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
