I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
