Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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