I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
