I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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