So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
