i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
