Jerry, you need to find god
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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