Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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