We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
