just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
