How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
