I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
