does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You can't special order awesome
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
