I didn't shave. On purpose
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
