I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
