She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
