Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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