My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
