Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
