your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
