32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
