Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
These tits shall not be calmed
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
