You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
