So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
