Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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