Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
