i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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