And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
