you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I can't trust your balls anymore.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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