I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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