dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
