i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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