So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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