Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
