So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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