I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
