i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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