11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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