It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
