ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
