I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
