Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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