You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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