so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
