so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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