At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
