You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
