Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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