you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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