I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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