I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
